Valentine’s Day and the Stories We Tell Ourselves About Love
- Safe Place Therapy
- 12 hours ago
- 3 min read
Valentine’s Day often comes with powerful messages about what love should look like such as romantic gestures, happy couples, and picture-perfect moments.
While this can feel meaningful for some, it can also bring up a wide range of emotions for others: reflection, comparison, grief, longing, pressure, or even self-doubt 🤍
Rather than viewing Valentine’s Day as a measure of relationship success, it can be helpful to see it as an opportunity to pause and reflect on the stories we tell ourselves about love — where they come from, how they shape our relationships, and how they affect the way we treat ourselves.
When Valentine’s Day Brings Up Mixed Feelings 💭
It’s common for Valentine’s Day to stir up emotions connected to past or present relationships. Old memories may resurface. Attachment wounds, unmet needs, or relationship trauma can feel more noticeable during times when love is highly visible and idealized.
There is no “right” way to feel on Valentine’s Day. Feeling happy, disconnected, lonely, content, hopeful, conflicted — or a mix of all of these — is completely valid 🤍
Our emotional responses often reflect our lived experiences, not our worth.
For Couples: What This Day Can Reveal 💑
For couples, Valentine’s Day can sometimes highlight differences in expectations, communication styles, or ways of expressing love. One partner may value quality time, while the other may focus on acts of service or verbal affirmation. These differences offer insight into how each person experiences connection.
Moments of tension or disappointment can be invitations for curiosity rather than blame.
Reflecting on questions like:“What does feeling loved mean to me?”“How do we communicate care during stressful or busy times?”
can help couples deepen understanding and strengthen their bond.
Couples therapy can be a supportive space to explore these patterns, improve communication, and reconnect — not only when things feel broken, but when couples want to grow together intentionally 🌿✨
For Individuals: Reflecting on Attachment and Past Relationships 🤍
Valentine’s Day can also be a powerful time for individuals to reflect on past relationships and attachment patterns. You may notice familiar emotional responses emerge such as longing, avoidance, self-criticism, or a desire for reassurance 💭
These reactions are often rooted in earlier experiences and relationships.
Being single does not mean being behind, incomplete, or unlovable. It can be a meaningful period for understanding what you need from relationships, what boundaries feel important, and how past experiences have shaped your expectations of love.
Individual therapy can help create space to explore these reflections with compassion, making sense of patterns without judgment 🕊️
Reframing Valentine’s Day as a Relationship With Yourself 🌷
One of the most important relationships we carry into every partnership is the one we have with ourselves. Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to reconnect with that relationship through honesty and care 🤍
Self-love isn’t about ignoring pain or forcing positivity. It can look like setting boundaries, listening to your emotional needs, practicing self-compassion, or acknowledging growth you’ve already made.
Celebrating your capacity to learn, heal, and reflect is a meaningful form of love ✨
You might consider reflecting on:
What stories do I tell myself about love and relationships?
How do I respond when I feel disconnected or unchosen?
What does care for myself look like in this season of my life?
How can I honour my growth — past and present?
Moving Forward With Compassion 🤍
Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be about comparison or expectation. It can be a gentle pause and a moment to reflect on love in all its forms — including the love we offer ourselves.
Whether you are in a relationship, navigating change, or focusing on your own healing, support can be helpful. Therapy offers a space to explore these stories, understand patterns, and move forward with greater clarity and compassion.
Wherever you are this Valentine’s Day, your experiences and emotions are valid, and you deserve care, understanding, and connection 💗
If you want to feel and find connection, connect with us through the button below to book a FREE 20-minute consultation with a trusted team member 🌾
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